I'll never forget the first time I walked down the marble halls towards human resources; I felt like Mary Tyler Moore and could hear the theme song, "Love Is All Around" playing for me as I walked.    I was gonna make it after all!
 
I worked for the Fortune 100 company for 3 years. I made more money than I needed and was able to give some away. I love to give gifts so this worked out well. Recently out of college, and working small jobs here and there, I hadn't had the money to steadily pay my bills, never mind having dinner out or going to the movies. So it was freeing to go out with friends or family and cover the bill, or at least not be worried when I paid for own my portion. I had 4 weeks of vacation time, discounts on my cell phone plan and a bonus each April that could pay for several plane tickets. I had favor in the eyes of my superiors and a general feeling of security. Surely this was the abundant life that Christ mentions in John 10:10 !
 
Now, I was working as a customer service representative, so clearly, from a corporate perspective I probably hadn't earned the right to my own theme song just yet. But I was excited to be able to have a steady job where my responsibilities ended when I left for the day. It was predictable job, safe and stable. In the beginning, the call center had real character. Free coffee on Mondays, catered lunch on Tuesdays, casual day on Fridays, and a host of theme days that brought excitement and creativity to people in the repetitive environment. Then one day about a year and a half later, things started to change. Friends with whom I started this corporate journey were growing weary of the strict routine and stress, and they were eager to move into new places.  Changes in the culture of the call center began to trickle down from new management (just as they'd hoped) and fun no longer took a backseat to productivity and performance, it was simply asked to step out of the car.
 
Representatives were asked to service the client's policies, change someone's life, prevent suicide, breed hope for a better tomorrow...all within 470 seconds or less. In order to meet the "business needs"  I got faster. Faster at work, faster at home, faster at relationships, faster at slowing down.  My life was getting so fast, I was wishing each week away, just to get to Friday. My abilities to "multi-task" hit me one day when I placed a client on hold to get the answer to a complex question. While on hold I took a sip of water, checked the new email I got while researching the client's question. Simultaneously, I was helping a co-worker with their questions. In addition, I had to check for my scheduled lunchtime so I didn't "go out of adherence"...... "Thank you so much for holding sir"....
 
Things that I loved about my life like my long-distance relationship, time with our household community, socialization, and involvement with Nehemiah-Ministries were all being affected by this predictable, safe and stable job. The work ended when I left the building, but the mentality and lifestyle I practiced while at work was following me home. Every night I was tired, grumpy and either ready to vent about my day or to refrain from sharing much at all. One of my favorite times of the day, dinner with the family, became a time of dread when we talked about our "high and low". It started to seem hard to think of a "high", and "lows" were easy to come by. 
 
Sure there were fleeting moments when I thought briefly about leaving, but where would I go? Pay, bonuses, vacation time, personal days, sick days, reimbursed tuition, discounts? Where else was I going to find a multi-billion dollar corporation to take care of me like that?
 
 
In May 2006, Nehemiah-Ministries had been given two Americorps VISTA positions by the New England Farm Workers' Council. (VISTA is one arm of the National Service Organization, Americorps and was created by Lyndon B Johnson in 1964 and brought under the Americorps program by Bill Clinton in 1993.)  I was at the board meeting where we decided that Paul (one of the members of my household) would draft the VISTA job descriptions. We went around the table making suggestions about who should quit their job and become a VISTA. I knew that in jest or seriousness, I was out of the running. Although it would take me out of the blah, blah, blah stable job, the pay was about a third of what I was currently making and I had done the math-it didn't pay the bills.
 
Months later, through His people and His word, I began hearing the call of God. He had some things to challenge me with. During a time of quiet I began to read My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. He says in his May 23 rd selection,
 
"Jesus summed up commonsense carefulness in the life of a disciple as unbelief. If we have received the Spirit of God, He will squeeze right through our lives, as if to ask, "Now where do I come into this relationship, this vacation you have planned, or these new books you want to read?" And He always presses the point until we learn to make Him our first consideration. Whenever we put other things first, there is confusion.
". . . do not worry about your life . . . ." Don't take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief; worrying means we do not believe that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything but those details that worry us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the Word He puts in us? Is it the devil? No? "the cares of this world" (Matthew 13:22 ). It is always our little worries. We say, "I will not trust when I cannot see"? and that is where unbelief begins. The only cure for unbelief is obedience to the Spirit.
 
The greatest word of Jesus to His disciples is abandon."               
                               
Jesus was starting to squeeze through. He was teaching me about real abundance in Him.
 
At that point I began to talk to God about this idea of leaving my job and entering into something new. When I finally made room for His opinion, he started to share it with me. Through the above passage and many others like it, through the suggestions of friends and family that it was time to move on, and through the generous offer of my landfamily (see definition below) to waive my rent and grocery money during my year of VISTA service, I was able to open my mind and heart to the possibilities of God. 
                
 I took about a week to think and pray and the deadlines for the VISTA hiring were coming quickly. Before I knew it I was at an interview with my new supervisor and talking very seriously about the responsibilities and benefits of being a VISTA. I think I was somehow anesthetized during this time of interviewing, submitting my application and being approved by the National Office because while I could feel myself going through the motions, God was protecting me from worry about making a bad decision.          
      

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 "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains.  Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should."   Ephesians 6:19-20.

                                           The march begins
 
Greetings One and All:
 
The Sojourners Prayer Vigil entitled:  "Budgets are Moral Docments"  began with worship and prayer on Tuesday evening at the Lutheran Church of the Reformation on E. Capitol St. in D.C.  About three hundred of us gathered together to dedicate the next 24 to 36 hours to the Lord and to call upon His favor as we moved forward to oppose what we believe is an immoral budget proposed by the House.  Many impassioned speakers stood up to proclaim the Word to us.  The time together was solemn, yet joy-filled.  It was somber, but also full of hope.  And a phrase repeated by many of the organizers kept touching my spirit.  It was sometimes phrased in the form of a "thank you" for coming, or an edification or a warning.  That repeated phrase was "risk of arrest."  I didn't really pay any attention at first, but it would soon make its point.
 
The next morning, Wednesday, we came together at the same church this time for training in civil disobedience tactics and for commissioning those who would be subject to the "risk of arrest."  The training was very brief and to the point, but highly effective.  We agreed to a covenant that said we would conduct ourselves in a nonviolent way during the protest.  Anyone not in agreement with the covenant needed to withdraw.  None did.  Several times during this training, the organizers kept repeating that three word phrase, "risk of arrest."
 
Following the training, we went into prayer again.  Jim Wallis stood before us at the close of prayer.  He then gazed out at us with a look of assurance, and asked to come forward for commissioning all those who would be subject to the "risk of arrest."  There it was again.
 
Forming our march out in front of the church, I notice a swarm of about 10 Capitol Police officers driving motorcycles in full leather gear, helmets and black weather masks covering their heads and faces. I ask myself, "Is that menacing look intentional or simply practical?"  I answer myself, "It's probably both."  Watching the police closely, I begin to sing and pray with my fellow marchers.  These songs were great old hymns, as well as new praise songs, or simple repeated phrases of worship.  To me these were voices of those claiming the name of Jesus while preparing to march into the unknown.  At this point, I was perfectly calm.  No doubts, no hesitation.  I had the cover of my Lord, along with fellow sisters and brothers in Christ surrounding me. Over the roar of those motorcycles, I kept hearing Jesus saying simply but clearly, "Do not be afraid.  Come and follow me."  Covered with song and prayer, we moved toward the Cannon Building that provides offices to many members of the House of Representatives.  The police rev-up their motorcycles and follow us.

                                            Jim Wallis speaks to the crowd
 
Upon reaching the steps at the Cannon Building, the speakers remind our legislators, using Isaiah 10:1-2, that how we spend our money reflects on our nation's moral character.  Jim Wallis stated emphatically that taking money from the poor while giving tax cuts to the wealthy is an immoral way to resolve the financial challenges of our country.  He spoke to them of our resolve to see that the proposed House budget is defeated, even at the "risk of arrest."  It begins. 

                                           The "Commissioned"
 
Jim asks those who had been commissioned to stand, kneel down or sit on the steps of the Cannon Building.  In kneeling, I immediately notice the steps are cold and hard.  It's 25 degrees outside.  The police begin to surround us. Then comes the first warning, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Sgt. Smith of the Capitol Police, you are committing the crime of incommoding, the blocking of an entry and exit to to a government building.  Please disburse or you will be subject to arrest.  We will provide you with an alternate rally site.  This is your first of three warnings." 

                                           We are warned of impending arrest
 
We all began to pray with fervor, asking the Lord to convict the hearts of those leading our nation and writing our laws to have compassion on those that live on the margins.  We sang more songs, Jim and others continued to minister to us through the Word.  Again we hear, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Sgt. Smith of the Capitol Police, you are committing the crime of incommoding, the blocking of an entry and exit to to a government building.  Please disburse or you will be subject to arrest.  We will provide you with an alternate rally site.  This is your second warning."
 
At first I am OK, then I notice the police forming a fence line with their bodies to separate us from the onlookers. My muscles are tightening.  Is that fear?  Am I going to whimp out after all of this?  Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice just to my right praying aloud. I look over; it's John Perkins.  Papa John.  I sense the Spirit's strength in Papa.  Peace is flowing like a river.  Thank you, Jesus.  I'm OK.  I'm gonna be OK.
 
More police are brought forward.  The cameras are clicking all around us now as the tension is building.  There had to be 10 photographers.  More prayer, more songs, and other pastors are praying and preaching the Word reminding our representatives that they set the moral tone for our country, and that God holds a special place in His heart for the poor.  God is watching us, and they need to be reminded of this.  Then, the final warning comes, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Sgt. Smith of the Capitol Police, you are committing the crime of incommoding, the blocking of an entry and exit to to a government building.  Please disburse or you will be subject to arrest.  We will provide you with an alternate rally site.  This is your final warning."
 
There it is again.  A spike of fear returns.  I am shaking some.  Is it just the cold or am I responding physically to the anxiety.  I don't feel cold.  There's a 70 year old woman next to me who quickly senses my change in affect.  She puts her arm through mine; she looks at me and smiles as she begins to sing.  She looks gently at me.  With her eyes she is saying, "Relax. It'll be OK."  I think she's been through this before. 

                                            The "Alleyway"
 
Then it comes,  "Ladies and gentlemen, I am Sgt. Smith of the Capitol Police, you are all placed under arrest."  A barricade line of about 10 police officers has now formed what can only be described as an alleyway.  At this point, two officers come forward to arrest each of us, one at a time.  We continue to pray, to sing, to speak the Word.  My knees are getting tired, my legs stiffening.  The steps are colder, harder.  The officers are getting nearer to me.  I overhear the arresting officer saying to each person, "My name is Officer Douglas of the Capitol Police, I am giving you one final opportunity to leave at this time otherwise I am placing you under arrest."  "Whoa!", I think to myself.  I'm gonna get one more chance to back out.  Then I watch as each participant replies, "I understand."  The officer places them under under arrest one at a time. 

                                           One of the first arrests
 
I can feel it in my stomach now.  This is really it.  Can I do this?  Is that panic?  And then I look up for a moment, and there in front of me I see the officers arresting Papa John, and I just begin to cry.  It's all just a bit overwheliming at this point.  The woman's arm tightens around me.  We both start to cry as we witness this man of God subjecting himself to the "risk of arrest." One time he did so almost at the cost of his life.  They beat Papa John within an inch of his life in a Mississippi jail in the mid '60s.  He had gone to Mendenhall to bail out some of his church members who'd been ambushed by the Mississippi State Police.  And now, at 75, he willingly surrenders to the powers that had before tried to crush him. 

                                        Papa John is arrested
 
I am now resolved.  Officer Douglas grabs my arm.  "Your name, Sir?, she asks.  "Patrick Murray", I reply.  I am given the opportunity to leave.  I refuse.  "Mr. Murray, I am placing you under arrest."  It's hard to stand up.  My knees are a bit stiff and muscles achy from kneeling for about an hour and a half in the cold.  "Give me a second", I request.  Not a chance.  With that, the officer firmly grabs my arm and lifts me to my feet.  I am escorted to an officer who now takes me toward the buses that will transport us to the processing center.  He stops me for a moment, looks me square in the eye and emphatically states, "Sir, I am reminding you now that you are under arrest."  He isn't kidding.  And then it hits me, I am now totally subject to the "risk of arrest."
 

                                                                      The women who comforted me is taken into custody.
 
It was then that I understood that phrase.  And what really struck me was that Papa John, even with the past experiences in his life, was still willing to go forward and subject himself to that risk.  He had every right to say, "Hey, you guys got this one.  I'm 75 years old, frail and got nothin' more to prove."  But he didn't.  Instead, his witness gave us "first timers" the courage to just surrender to God's command, "Don't be afraid.  Come and follow me."  And while my experience pales to those of Papa John, or most certainly the Apostle Paul, in a small way we were all given the opportunity to be "Ambassadors in Chains" for the Gospel.  And to what result?
 
Well, the votes are not in yet, but the latest press indicates that the House Republicans are already changing their hearts.  Many of them them recently stated publicly that they will not support any reduction in the Food Stamp program.  Praise you, God.  And there are further indications that the more preferred Senate version is picking up strength.  Again, thank you, Lord.  But an even more magnificent thing has happened, in my mind.
 
Evangelical Christians, on the left and right, are now beginning to talk a bit more.  God has used this time of sacrifice by others to open up some communication between two warring factions in our church, the so-called Conservatives and Liberals.  We are beginning to understand that Jesus calls upon us, as His body here on earth, to speak to the culture about all of its moral choices.  How we live our lives as individuals, and how we care for the lives of others who are suffering.  These are not mutually exclusive commands from God.  When we fail to live out and preach the Gospel holistically, its power is diminished. In fact, a partial gospel is no gospel at all. But fearlessly declared in its entirety, then the Kingdom vision of Jesus is advanced, and the redemption of our personal lives and the advancement of justice in the world around us becomes possible.
 
I am so grateful to Jesus for placing this simple call on the lives of all those who participated in this vigil.  And I am ever more grateful to Him for the life of Papa John. I am joy-filled that Papa has lived long enough to see what could be the beginnings of "justice rolling on like a river, and righteousness like a never failing stream."  God bless you, Papa John, and thank you for the privilege of allowing me to serve alongside you.
 
In His Name,
Patrick Murray